And Thus Meg Became Positive

I've been a little crazy lately. It's legit, I've been feeling seriously mentally unstable for about two weeks now. Part of me thinks it might be the strange amounts of estrogen being introduced and trying to find their place in my body chemistry other parts of me think I'm just crazy and I'll always have these horrible up and down moments in my life.

But things have turned around suddenly. I thought I'd gotten a C on my Finite test and was terrified for my life. I mean if I couldn't get this easy shit how the hell was I going to go on in life? And then there's the extreme loneliness I've been feeling. I don't think I've felt this desperate for someone to love in a long ass time. I don't know if I've ever felt this desperate. And I'm trying in the only ways that I know how to, but I don't think they're good enough. And I'm not sure what else I should do or if there is anything else possible for me to do. So thusly I'm lonely, sending out hints over facebook, trying to entice the few boys that intrigue me but I never see... trying to find ways to be where they could be, but they're never there. I don't know what to do short of stalking the motherfuckers.

But I woke up today and it didn't hurt as much. Maybe it was just a phase. Maybe this estrogen thing is finally evening out. Maybe my sudden period is to blame for these horrible feelings as of late. Whatever it is I feel renewed today. I feel fresh. It's fall and I'm in love with myself again. I feel beautiful and open. It's a marvelous feeling and I can't wait to bask in it for a little while longer.